1900
by Mrs. Singing Violin
Summary: Voyager's crew chats. Online. Just like the rest of us. A farce.


Title: 1900  
Series: Star Trek: Voyager  
Author: Singing Violin  
Beta: Aunt Kathy - Thanks, dear!  
Rating: K+  
Summary: _Voyager_'s crew chats. Online. Just like the rest of us. A farce.  
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. Please don't sue me.  
Feedback: I welcome feedback of any valence, as long as it's 1) thoughtful, and 2) truthful. I'd love to know if my fic made you feel something, good or bad. I'd love to hear if you have ideas you'd like me to address in the next part. I realize that this won't be everyone's cup of tea, and I am thankful to all of you who take the time to read it and/or comment even if it doesn't float your boat. Reviewers who attack the author personally or crib complaints off of other reviews instead of actually reading the story and thinking for themselves need not apply. That being said, if I do attract a troll, please do NOT feed the troll by responding to it, even if you think you're defending me. Just ignore it. It will wither and die without attention. (This goes for trolls on other people's stories as well.) I will be vigilant and block accounts that appear to be trolls right away, and I will delete anonymous reviews if they are troll-like. Note that posting criticism of the story does NOT make you a troll, especially if your criticism is helpful! Not everyone will love this, or any of my other stories, and that's okay.  
Dedication: Even though they'll probably hate this, as it's so different from what I usually write, I'd like to dedicate this to the anonymous guest reviewers who have been so supportive of my recent work. It really means a lot to me. I don't know who they are; otherwise I'd thank them privately. (If you sign in for your review, I will do my best to thank you in pm, and address any issues you raise, though apologies in advance if I forget.) Big hugs to my anonymous guests!

=/\=

_**Chat #1**_

**CommanderStud:** Watcha doing?

**TheJaneway:** My job, you nincompoop. Reports, duty rosters…you know how it is.

**CommanderStud:** Nincompoop?!

**TheJaneway:** Sorry, Chakotay. I meant that in the most affectionate way.

**CommanderStud:** *pout*

**TheJaneway:** Sigh. I'm just overwhelmed, okay? I feel like I'm buried under a mountain of paperwork and I can't even delegate it! Well, I could, but…

**CommanderStud:** Then you'd be out here on the bridge with me. And you'd rather avoid that.

**TheJaneway:** No comment.

**CommanderStud:** ?!

**TheJaneway:** Let's just say that I have trouble keeping a straight face when you do that thing.

**CommanderStud:** Glad to know I amuse you, Captain. ;)

**TheJaneway:** It's not that…ugh. Geez, Chakotay! You know what I'm talking about.

**CommanderStud:** You mean that you think we ought to be a little more discrete?

**TheJaneway:** You mean rather than continuous?!

**CommanderStud:** What?!

**TheJaneway:** You said discrete. You meant discreet.

**CommanderStud:** Damned autocorrect!

**TheJaneway:** Oh, don't you blame that on autocorrect. It's not the computer's fault you weren't paying attention in calculus class. Or English.

**CommanderStud:** What can I say? It's been many years. I haven't needed that stuff…except when talking to you. And you're younger than I am. Fewer years to forget.

**TheJaneway:** You only forget things if you don't use them. Should I be enrolling you in a remedial course? You know, something to do while you're sitting there bored on the bridge?

**CommanderStud:** Who said I was bored?

**TheJaneway:** If you weren't bored, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

**CommanderStud:** Okay, you got me. So how about you come out and make eyes at me to pass the time?

**TheJaneway:** Are you kidding me? What kind of an example would that set for the crew?

**CommanderStud:** Nobody's paying attention. They're all, well…

**TheJaneway:** Doing the same thing we are?

**CommanderStud:** Yeah.

=/\=

_**Chat #2**_

**TomFoolery:** Are we still on for tonight?

**BeMe:** Sure, Flyboy. Unless Seven screws up our work again.

**TomFoolery:** Hey, be nice. She's only been human for like an hour. She needs time to adjust.

**BeMe:** Sorry, Tom. Just frustrating is all.

**TomFoolery:** You've been frustrated with me too, but look where we are now.

**BeMe:** Touche. Anyway, back to our original topic…

**TomFoolery:** Your quarters, say 1900?

**BeMe:** Sure. I'll let you know if we're delayed.

**TomFoolery:** Got it. Love ya.

**BeMe:** You too. 3

=/\=

_**Chat #3**_

**HarryChest:** Hey Seven, do you want to do something tonight?

**7of9:** Such as recalibrate the primary couplings in Astrometrics?

**HarryChest:** No, I mean, for fun. Something fun. With me.

**7of9:** Fun is inefficient. However, if you would like to join me for the recalibration, that would be more efficient than my doing it alone.

**HarryChest:** I guess, sure. I suppose it's better than nothing.

**7of9:** I would inquire as to the meaning of your last message but it is irrelevant to my current or future tasks, as far as I know. Is this conversation over?

**HarryChest:** Not quite. What time are you doing the…recalibration?

**7of9:** Again, I am puzzled as to your notation, but again, irrelevant. I will begin at 1900 hours. I will see you in Astrometrics.

**HarryChest:** Yeah. See you.

=/\=

_**Chat #1**_

**CommanderStud:** Are you done with your stuff yet?

**TheJaneway:** I might be if you didn't keep distracting me. What *are* you doing out there?

**CommanderStud:** Keeping your seat warm.

**TheJaneway:** Um, thank you?

**CommanderStud:** Oh come on, tell me that didn't make you smile!

**TheJaneway:** Here. :)

**CommanderStud:** Geez, Kathryn. Can't you have any fun?

**TheJaneway:** I thought this was fun. Talking to you instead of getting work done. I feel naughty.

**CommanderStud:** Naughty, you say? *raises eyebrows suggestively*

**TheJaneway:** Oh, stop! You know what I meant.

**CommanderStud:** I'll get to you one of these days.

**TheJaneway:** Oh you get to me already. Just not the way you think.

**CommanderStud:** *pout*

**TheJaneway:** Sigh.

=/\=

_**Chat #4**_

**KneeLicks:** Captain, I've got extra Muqluk stew from lunch, and I didn't see most of the bridge crew today. Would you like me to send some up for them?

**TheJaneway:** Not necessary, Neelix. But thank you for the thought.

**KneeLicks:** They've got to be hungry. You too. Sorry if I'm out of line.

**TheJaneway:** That's quite all right, but there's no need to bring it up for us. I'll let the bridge crew know it's available.

**KneeLicks:** Are you sure? I don't mind delivering. The lunch crowd's all served.

**TheJaneway:** I'm sure. Enjoy your break, Mr. Neelix.

**KneeLicks:** Yes, Captain.

=/\=

_**Chat #1:**_

**TheJaneway:** Neelix says there's extra of some kind of stew. Do you want to go down and get some with me?

**CommanderStud:** Seriously? You're actually hungry…for Neelix's food?

**TheJaneway:** Of course not, but we should be polite.

**CommanderStud:** Because you're always so polite.

**TheJaneway: **Careful, Commander. You don't want to end up in the brig…again.

**CommanderStud: **Well, to answer your question, not now. I had some ration packs for lunch earlier and they're not exactly sitting well…

**TheJaneway: **I didn't need to know that, Chakotay.

**TheJaneway:** Wait, unless…did you mean that you're ill, and I need to come out and relieve you?

**CommanderStud:** I'm okay, Captain. Just not hungry. Though if you're eager to come out and join me, I could use the company. It really is boring out here. And I can't do much paperwork on the console.

**TheJaneway: **Which is exactly why I need to stay here.

**TheJaneway:** Though, admittedly, I'm not getting much done.

**CommanderStud: **Shift ends at 1800. How would you like to have dinner with me in the mess hall at 1900? I'm sure I'll be starved by then.

**TheJaneway:** Enough to eat Neelix's leftover lunch stew, or whatever he's cooked for dinner?

**CommanderStud: **Or something else… *hint, hint*

**TheJaneway:** Chakotay! You're incorrigible!

**CommanderStud: **Don't you mean "encourageable"? ;)

**TheJaneway:** Now I'm *definitely* not coming out to join you.

**CommanderStud: ***pout* We're still on for dinner, though, right?

**TheJaneway:** It's a date.

**CommanderStud: **Oooooh!

**TheJaneway: ***rolls eyes* I'd better get back to work, otherwise there will be no date of any kind. And that's a promise.

**ComanderStud: **Still keeping your seat warm, just in case.


End file.
